Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Well I am trying real hard not to fall asleep but it's taking some time. And I'm really hungry but it is lunch time so that does make sense. Well a lot has been going on with me since my last post. And looking back I realize how silly I am or have been. Not that I am not allowed to think/feel a certain way but I dont' need to make it my life's mission. Basically I feel like I've been worried/hung over really stupid stuff that is just the same old-same old. I am so ready for spring to come and the warm weather to get here. TOday isnt' too bad-at least it's not raining too much. Once softball starts that will be awesome and I'll be able to get rid of some of this aggressive anger and built up frustration out in more productive ways :)

Alright I'm starving ..getting some lunch!

Monday, March 07, 2005

Good morning!

I had a pretty interesting weekend-I guess in any other way the weekend could be interesting. Tried out stuff with the friend but now I'm wondering if I made a mistake with it and just not thinking it's going to work out. More of in the way that I felt, am feeling now that I have time to think about it. My moods change so much; one time I'm feeling that I need a boyfriend and I need this and that to be happy; other times I'm all "screw the boyfriend, just give me my guy friends to hang out with and I can do whatever I want"..I think I"m really weird with the relationshp feeling. Part of the time, I want it...the other times I just can't be bothered with it. Does that make sense?

So saturday I had another "date" with this guy I have met on eharmony. Not sure where it's really going, but I'm having a good time but still being a good girl if that means anything. We went to O'Meara's in Manassass which is owned by Mike O'Meara from a radio station here (106.7) Was actually really nice and it was a good time!

Sunday I got together with some friends for brunch/lunch. We actually got there around lunch time but all had breakfast food. Oh yeah, I have some leftover eggs I can have for breakfast-need to remember to eat that. Then I washed my car which SOOOO needed it and watched some re-runs of WB shows that I needed to get caught up on so that was good and I had chipotle for dinner. A great evening!!

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Well it is 25 days til Easter, so then I will back online. I didn't realize how much I was wanted/needed on IM. :) heheh but maybe that's not a good thing. I didn't realize Easter was so soon and already in March. But it was early this year.

So...when do you realize that someone might be more than a friend? believe me, I know all about the "friend zone". I've been putting guys there since the phrase was popular. Anytime something got close or if I knew them for more than a month-bam! Friend Zone. I just didn't think I could be like that with someone who was my friend or find that kind of connection/chemistry. Well now I'm wondering if I've been missing out on all that. I think it is important to feel close to someone and a lot of boyfriends that I've had have been more of acquaintances than real relationships; or more physical than emotional. I didn't think that I could have both. Now I have to see if the physcial attractiveness is there, but this guy; everything that I've kind of been looking for in a guy, I think is there in him. Now I just have to see what my next move is, and how he'll react-and if I'm doing this for the right reasons and not for feeling "desperate". We'll see.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Gotta put things into perspective. There could be a lot WORSE things going on in my life other than a guy not calling me back. And maybe he will (a little too late though) but with going to the last post, I shouldn't let the fact that I don't have a boyfriend predict who I am as a person and as a woman. It's all relative, isn't it?

But hey..some happy thought huh! I gotta get back into the stuff that makes me happy and confident. Softball is starting up again! How cool is that? I can't wait for that. and then I can show all the stupid boys what I'm made of. My knee still hurts from when I got a balled nailed right at me, because I apparently forgot how to catch a ball. Duh! Oh well, I can still walk-that's a good thing right.

And hey as Monty Python says, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" oh yeah and "Always look on the bright side of life" :) I guess they're both good for this.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Why is it that a tv show can relate so well to real-life? That is so true with Sex and the City. I was watching some of it last night and the episode was "plus one is the lonliest number" or something and it's amazing how things relate to my life. Sometimes things relate with "Dawson's Creek" but that's for another post. Basically CArrie was mentioning how there are 3 things that are important to a woman's life (in NY but I'm sure it applies elsewhere): having a place to live, having a good job, and a good boyfriend. And how even if you have 2 of the 3, you're always thinking over the one thing you DON"T have in your life over the good things you DO have in your life. Why is that? Why is it that even though I have a great job (well good and it pays me), a great place to live and awesome friends and family-not having that SO is somethign that can get me so down in the dumps. I think it's partially where you think you've found someone that you want to spend time with and not sure how they are towards you. Or when you find someone that is kind of into you (or you think) but you're not 100% towards them.

The word I've been using a lot has been "balance" ..It's totally obvious and not out of place..but balance is a great word. You need it in everything. I know I"m not going off on a limb when I say this, it's just seems like such a great concept. Balance in relationships, balance between life and work, balance even in fashion! You want to try to find that happy medium..but is that really there?

Why is it that I always come onto this to write or write in my own journal at home when I"m upset. I"m trying not to do that but that always seems liek the time when we want to vent out our feelings and show how we really feel. We NEVER talk about stuff liek this when we're happy because there is nothing to fret over :)

The other main thing that is weird is why are we so different between guys who are friends and guys who are boyfriends. I think it's more because a boyfriend is supposed to do more than a guy friend because that's why he's your BOYFRIEND and not just a friend. Why you get upset when they dont' call or try to see you. But it's really stupid isn't it? Why do we care that much. It's annoying to care, but alas so hard not to!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Yay for PMSing!!! not really but what else can you do? All I want to do is go home and sleep! And it's my birthday week so I have to be happy about things. All I want to do is meet a nice guy and not freak out about things and just be fine about things. No worrying, not stressing, no being a girl. But I guess I can't really do anything about that either. Right now I just need to breath and relax and just say "hey ! things will be fine."

Other than that, I was out every single day this weekend..Out til the weeee hours of morning so I'm sure that's also why I'm tired. But I was able to play some tennis yesterday since it was pretty nice outside, so that was enjoyable. Definitely good to get the mind off of some things. Can't wait for spring to get here and then softball will start!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

happy 2 days after Valentine's day!! The day was kind of dreary so it made it better for all the lovey-dovey couples out there..eheheh and you know who you are :)

I wasn't bitter or anything and I was actually really busy with stuff and with the weather I just wanted to sit at home and relax. I postponed aerobics and got some sushi and a pack of flowers for ME! because I"m worth it and some other stuff. Then I watched some tv and put in "singles" which I had never seen before. It was a good movie-I liked it.

Other than that..really boring :)

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